MEDICAL ALERT! MEDICAL ALERT!, 90 % of congress men and women have been infected with the deadly virus known as Swine Barrel Flu, commonly known as pork barrel waste. There does not seem to be immunity for either party. Eventually everyone sent there catches it, and there is only one cure. Remove them from their duties and allow them to come home. This illness has grown to pandemic porportion and has infected the whole country. We must act immediately, we are at fault and only we can provide our government with a health care plan that will save us trillions of dollars. We must start recycling elected officials at the soonest opportunity. We must become more compassionate, no longer can we fail to do the right thing, give congress the health care plan they deserve, save them, as they can not do it themselves. Restore health to Washington in November, VOTE FOR THE NEW GUY. The above announcment has not been approved by either party.
Symptoms usually manifest as a serious hearing disorder, often failure to hear the voices of constituents, even when more than 50% of them are calling out the same words, "NO TO HEALTHCARE" Also there becomes a perverse tendency to tell lies, even to their co-representatives. More serious is the inability to know themselves, when they are lying. There is often an uncontrollable desire to spend other peoples money, as well as a tendency to blame someone else for their own short sightedness. Some of them have been known to commit criminal acts as they become delirious with the fever of unlimited power. These are the easily treatable cases. However some become very adept at hiding their illness. This is why in order to be sure we stamp out this virus, we will have to do the humane thing and remove them from the day to day exposer by bringing them home from Washington and send others not yet exposed to the pig headed infection that is so rampant in our nations capitol. Some of them will have to be quarantined at state facility often referred to as 'THE CROW BAR HOTEL' for as long as it takes to be 'CURED'. Normally that period of time is equal to the time frame they were exposed to the virus. There does seem to be, certain members of congress and the senate who have a natural resistance to the virus, study shows that it appears to come from an exercise they perform nightly and quite often during the day. They do deep knee bends and while they are down there, they pray for guidance, this seems to work very effectively